Learn How to Let Go & Heal Your Heartbreak
This is perhaps the question I get asked most by the clients I work with. How can I let go of them? I can't get over them, I can't let go, I can't move on, I'm stuck!
Learn How to Let Go & Heal Your Heartbreak...
If this is the situation you currently find yourself in and you are looking for answers and advice about moving forward then you are in the right place. As a Clinical Hypnotherapist who works with issues around heartbreak and difficult breakups, the challenges around Letting Go and Moving On are those I work with every day, and every day I watch clients becoming unstuck and putting their lives back together. This is where you can find the help you are looking for, so without further ado...
While many of my clients have arrived at hypnotherapy with me through their need to Let Go of a person or situation, each person's story, circumstances and personal history differ. This means that the way I proceed with each client will also differ, however there are some general principles that still apply to the process of Letting Go and which you too can use and apply to your own situation so that you can begin to feel better now.
LETTING GO - THE PRINCIPLES
TAKE TIME TO PROCESS
While it is important not to wallow in negative emotions or painful memories, it is at the same time, important to take stock of the experience you have been through.
A difficult breakup and a painful heartbreak can take its toll on our nervous system, leaving us in a state of shock or pain that we find difficult to process. The temptation can be to distract ourselves from these feelings when they come up - shopping, alcohol, social media, excessive socialising, the list can be long of those activities we would rather indulge than facing our feelings.
However the way out is always to go through and so even though this process can be difficult, it pays to find a way to sit with the discomfort and the sadness until it moves through, and it does move through us if we can bear with it.
2. ACCEPT THE WAY YOU FEEL
Heartbreak can be experienced as a form of grief. When we lose a relationship that has played an important, central and fundamental role in our lives, the loss of this can be so much more painful than we can put into words.
It is also important to realise that not all breakups are made equal, the relationships that we have in our lives all take different shapes and forms and therefore the end of each of these will impact us in different ways.
You do not need to compare the way you are feeling to the way your friend or sister or cousin felt at the end of their relationship. Your feelings are valid, they are not something to be ashamed of or embarrassed by. This does not mean that it is wise to go around disclosing the way you feel and all the reasons why to anyone who will listen. However it is wise to accept your feelings, acknowledge they are there while at the same time realising that feelings change, they are not permanent and, given the chance, they move through us.
3. REDIRECT YOUR ENERGY
Your energy is one of your most precious assets and this is a time when you need to be more careful than ever about where that energy is going.
This means, that during this challenging time, make yourself aware of what you are focusing on, what you are spending your time thinking about, what, or who, you are talking about and how often you are speaking about them.
Then, change these patterns!
Each time you speak that person's name, each time you relive the good old days and the memories between you, you are keeping that person alive in your mind. If you need to, force yourself to think about something else and before too long you will find that this becomes easier to do. Initially, the chances are that your mind has grown so accustomed to ruminating and even obsessing over that person that this becomes the default thought patterns. Change the groove, interrupt the pattern, think of something else.
4. REDESIGN YOUR LIFE
It is likely that there are areas of your life that have, until now, been shaped by the presence of that person. This could include the activities you did together, places you went, shared friends and social activities and certain times of the week that you shared together.
This is the time to begin to reshape these parts of your life and to fill what can feel like a void with some of the other things and people who mean something to you.
Rather than allowing yourself to feel overwhelmed by this process, because it can feel overwhelming, I know, focus instead on taking baby steps. One step at a time, allow yourself to consider other ways to spend your time. If you are at the stage where any kind of socialising feels daunting, then give yourself some time to be on your own, however try not to spend too long alone, we ultimately are social creatures and we benefit from being around those who love us and who have our best interests at heart.
5. DISTANCE, DISTANCE & MORE DISTANCE
Creating distance in our lives from that person is often the last thing we want to do. Many clients tell me about the various ways they have tried to find ways to stay in touch with their Ex. This can include those items that simply had to be returned to that person, immediately, without delay, items ranging from an odd sock to a toothbrush. No matter how tempting, do not go down this path, no good lies that way, really.
The fact is that any and all contact with that person will, at least for a time, reignite pathways in the brain that keep those old, and now painful emotions alive. This is a time for creating new neural networks that can move you away from this heartbreak and towards new, exciting and positive experiences.
If you need further help with this, you can find my Guide to No Contact available to download though my website. https://www.etainmcnulty.com/product-page/your-guide-to-no-contact
The important thing to remember is that your experience is your experience. No one else can tell you how you should be feeling or at what rate you should be moving on. Heartbreak can be so challenging and every client who moves through this with me has a different and unique journey. We all prioritise difference aspects of what we have been through, we perceive things and react to them differently. Regardless of where you are at on your own journey, these principles can be used to begin to alleviate some of the pain you may be feeling and to help you feel less stuck in the process.
FURTHER HELP
If you would like further help with moving on from heartbreak or recovering from a difficult breakup, you can enquire about hypnotherapy sessions with me through my website https://www.etainmcnulty.com or by emailing me at etain@etainmcnulty.com.
Etain McNulty is an experienced Clinical Hypnotherapist who works specifically with the challenges around HEARTBREAK & Difficult Breakups. Find out more about Etain and how she can help you through her website, or the Heartbreak Hypnotherapist on Tiktok, YouTube & Instagram.