When life gives you knock backs, when it disappoints… Adjust your sails and reconsider your course of action.
Making changes, whether big or small, welcome or not, is something that many of us are facing right now. This has been one of the greatest times of uncertainty some of us will have experienced to date. The issues that have arisen for people extend beyond health and into relationships, careers, and more.
On one hand, we might need to make changes that are necessary in order to ride out the Corona Virus storm. Buckle in, buckle up and keep your head down kind of manoeuvres.
On the other hand, some of us are adjusting course in response to a sense of dissatisfaction that this period of lockdown has uncovered. A sense of wanting something different.
While being quarantined from the world has brought it's stresses and strains, it has also given many of us a chance to look at the direction we are moving in, and the destination beyond.
“You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight.”
Do What You Can
Instead of trying to force the boat in a direction that is working against you, consider that there may be other, and perhaps better ways for you to proceed.
Reconsider where you are heading. Is your desired destination the same as it was before you ran into adverse weather conditions- the storm or maybe the fog?
Think about where you want to go and open up to other ideas of how to travel in that direction.
Consider your journey. Really consider it.
It is easy, and it can be tempting to get pulled into sad feelings when we have been disappointed or hurt. But there is also a time to let go of that. A time to feel excited about adjusting the sails and allowing ourselves to be powered along by the wind for a while.
Use The Tools You Have
Think about the tools and the skills you have at your disposal for this journey.
These tools include your capacity to focus and your ability to direct this in ways that serve you.
These also include your power of attention and your ability to remove and move this in helpful ways.
Do pay attention to the thoughts and the feelings that you have during this time. Understand these for what they are - sometimes useful, and ultimately transient. Learn to let go.
Another useful skill is that of emotional regulation and the ability to stay calm under pressure. This is a skill that can be developed and improved- I know this from my own experience. The ability to emotionally regulate is one of the most useful skills a person can have, in my opinion.
And a tool that combines all of those already mentioned is Self-Hypnosis. If you have worked with me at any point, then this is a skill you will already be familiar with. Self-Hypnosis provides a space where we can direct our focus and apply our attention in ways that can provide insights, answers to problems that have been troubling us, or even peace of mind when we need it. Otherwise, consider having some hypnotherapy sessions with a hypnotherapist you can trust to guide you through this process.
Consider the assets of your mind that you have at your disposal. Develop the mental tools and skills that will serve you well, that will improve your journey and the way you experience it.
“The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.”
Ultimately this is your journey. No one else can make it for you, nor would you want them to. Other people join us for part of the ride, and then they get off.
This is our trip to make, and ours alone. That means we get all the responsibility that comes with the course we choose to sail, and it means we also get the thrill of knowing that we are taking conscious action over the direction we take and why we take it.
Choose well, and change when you need to.